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Success is the result of letting go of faulty beliefs and truths that are not helping you.
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"I DON'T CARE!"I Couldnt Why Not

Scream it out.  Stand on your front porch, or even the desk in your cubicle and scream those words in a primal yalp.

Success is an inside job that begins with releasing the cares of life.

I just finished talking with a client. She was talking about repressing some memories and feelings.  That they were trying to come up again and it was taking a lot of concentration to hold them back.  I grabbed a piece of paper and and wrote 3 very simple questions. These questions, when hold the key to unlocking ALL success and happiness in life.  Over the next few posts, I will lay out these three truths to unleashing an unstoppable power help in all of us. 


I first asked that question in all sincerity to a group of young social work students who were looking worn and shell shocked during their practicum experience.  Looking at their faces was like staring into the wounded from war.  After they told the group about their sorted tails of woe and worry, I turned to the board in large letters and wrote - "Why Do You CARE!!!"

When I turned around, those students looked more dazed than they had before I started writing.  "Why do you care?" was not what they expected their professor of social work to be asking them. 

Almost in unison they replied that they cared because that is what social workers do.  They care about their clients,  We then had a discussion tht changed the course of their education, and can alter the course of your success if you will abide it. 

Caring does not mean you own it.  

Coming to terms with why you care about something is the first step in overcoming you over-caring.  

Caring too much is what my students were doing for their client issues and for the chaos they were entering when they stepped into work.  

Caring, for the wrong things, is the fatal blow that many don't get right and creates the demise that could have been success. 

2. Who Says?

How many times have we heard this from a child (or our partner) and recoiled? The reality is, this is a powerful question that will be very beneficial to you when you apply it. 

Who says? so many things in our life are driven by rules, truths, and desires from other people placed on us. 

Who says releases you from the nagging "You must", You should", and the shame and guilt that haunts us from bad these faulty principles deriving our life. 

Who says frees you to  say, "not me". Let go of the nonsense that runs around i the mind and is causing so much stress. 

3. Stop caring in order to care more

What I told those students is the same for all of us.  When we care too much about things that do not matter, we do not have the capacity to care about the things that will bring success.  Learn to differentiate what matters most and what has little consequence in the long run and you will quickly succeed.

One of the greatest lies perpetrated on humans s the notion that to be caring and compassionate at all times and in all things is the greatest measure of ones humanity.  If that caring and compassion are driving you to anxiety and depression and making it so you cannot attend to the things of most importance in your own life, then it is time to stand on the desk and yalp out - "I Do Not Care". Then climb down, ignore the stares - not your issue (we will address that next), and get to work on things that truly matter. 


Brett M. Judd MSW  America's #1 Relationship Focused Leadership and Success Coach


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